I'm so depressed I want to kill myself?

I'm a shy, socially awkward boy with no confidence. Everyone around me is in a relationship and it sucks so much. I see kids my age and younger hugged up and making out and I honestly just want to kill myself. I want that so badly. I'm shy, I cannot ask girls for their number because I get extremely afraid. I've never had a gf in my whole life or a kiss or anything and I'm So JEALOUS of everyone who has somebody. I am quiet and I don't really socialize outside of school. I stay in my bedroom and read during the weekend. I love to read, it's my favorite thing to do. I read for at least an hour every day and my Kindle is my best friend. I want a girlfriend who is hot and loves books. I'm working at the bookstore over the summer, but I'm afraid I'll be too shy to pick up a girl. I just feel so freaking sad all the time now. I don't want to wait, I just wan a relationship with every fiber of my being. I don't even want to go to school anymore, I just feel like **** there because I have no girl. I swear I want to cry so hard.

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