Friday, December 28, 2012

I feel guilty when I know I shouldn't?

Here was the situation for about two months: I met this girl on a dating site, talked for a bit, met up and right then, she asked for money to help her mom who had gallstones, which turned out to actually be her gallstones.

I'm none too proud of what I did but I gave her money out of the kindness of my heart, a lot more than I should've to begin with.It's easier to refuse someone digitally than to do it physically.

This is her description and biography: fairly attractive, long platinum hair with some high lights, nice body, lives just at or under the poverty line, very nice and sweet; raped last year, gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Noah (sweet little guy), didn't tell me she had a baby until we met, dropped out of homeschool (pretty sure that was a lie), mom would not let her leave until she paid for crashing her car.

I can barely afford to keep myself fed. I kept telling her this. She eventually decided that I should sell my entertainment equipment (Kindle Fire, game systems, etc.) to be with her. Because she always needed just a little more money for mom to let her leave.

I figured it was for her benefit if I told her the truth that I can't make 100% of the sacrifices when I relationship is supposed to be a team effort and more importantly because there was no way I was going to be able to support her and her baby. She kept trying to call me back, promise to take my virginity (she didn't, I want my first time to be with someone I truly love), sent me dirty pictures (extremely detailed… ) even threatening to use her mom's police boyfriend to find me.

I know that breaking all contact with her was the right thing but I feel awful for the baby, especially since it was just Christmas. I wanted to help her, I really did but I just couldn't. Made her cry and everything, fake or real tears.

The baby looked well-fed and well taken care of, just for extra information.

Should I feel guilty or am I still right for what I did?
>>> I feel guilty when I know I shouldn't?