I can't seem to let things go, particularly things I do wrong. Some are big, For example, about 9 years ago when I was 13, I threw glitter at a girls face. She got sent to hospital. I think about it all the time, and can't use or be around glitter because of that, I just feel guilty and sad.
Also as a child, about 7 years old, I once chewed up a pen which my mother was bought by a child she looked after. I had no idea the pen was anything special but still feel really bad.
Those are large examples, but here is a TINY one that is driving me CRAZY.
I went out with two friends about a month ago, and we were in Waterstones (a book store) I was looking at a Kindle on a stand. I didn't realise my other friend was behind me looking at a notebook. The OTHER friend turned in my direction and said "Are you thinking of buying one?" I replied, "No I quite like books as they are." She just giggled a bit awkwardly, then I realised she was actually talking to the friend behind me.
I can literally think of nothing else from that time we met up. I haven't seen them since because I feel really stupid and don't think I can face them… and I know that is a tiny thing, but it is driving me MAD.
How can I let this stuff go? It plays on my mind on repeat, I'm fine during the day, but at night when I'm in bed it's all I can think about.My mistakes, big and small.
Please don't tell me to look to God lol I would rather not bother him/her/it.
>>> I can't forgive or forget my mistakes?